Special Hearts

Last April, I went to our churches Women’s Retreat.  I had only been going to our Church for about six weeks and didn’t know too many people, but this one lady decided that she was going to be my friend.  Since our cabin (room) only had three of us, and we all worked with kids with Special Needs (or me … being the mom of a Special Needs Kid), she moved in with us that first afternoon.  What a joy she was!  We spent many hours chatting about how to teach a certain concept to Special Kids and asked if I had I tried this or that with Ian.  She even offered to come up to the house and evaluate Ian for me - which I readily accepted!

Some of the time we talked about her and what she had been through - my, what a lot of life for one only a little older than I.  Wrought with so much pain – both physical and emotional, yet her resolve to show the joy of the Lord was ever so evident.  Not one to wallow in self pity, she was up and around – even if it meant using an electric wheel chair or a walking cane.
At church, the Special Needs kids all gather around her electric wheel chair, all wanting have her look at something they had made or listen to something that they had done.  She always made each of them feel so special, allowing them to be who they truly are and not expecting or demanding anything different.  For normal kids, that’s really neat; for Special Needs kids that’s fairly unheard of!

Then, after one Heart to Heart (our Church Special Needs Group) meetings, she pulled Dave and I down a little hallway and told us that she had cancer.  The doctors had given her about six months – but she said that she was gonna make it to the next Women’s Retreat where we could be roomies again!  Then she disappeared for about six months.  I called and got a disconnect notice.  Emails went unanswered … and I was sad.  I felt I had lost my friend.

Then out of the blue, last week we saw her at church – walking without her chair or even her cane!  She was back – bubbly as ever.  Asking how we were and listening – really listening to what was happening.  Crying, laughing and loving in her usual way!  We told her about Tori and she promised to pray and then wrapped Tori in a huge hug.  She told Tori that she would get her a quilt from the Quilting ladies of our church, something that gave her comfort when she was in the hospital.  She called us Monday night to find out how Tori was and let us know that she was praying for us and that she had gotten Tori her quilt.  Tori was so excited and so touched that someone would care so much about her.  Tori made her a special beaded friendship bracelet to give to her on the next Sunday.

On the next Sunday, we heard the news: our dear friend, Pam Bunney is in heaven now.  Her body had given out, but her spirit never did.  She encouraged and loved whoever, where ever she was.  She left her mark on me and my family’s life.  One of love, acceptance and understanding.

What kind of mark are you leaving on those around you?  No matter who you are or what you do, you will leave a mark on those around you.  Good or bad, cheerful or whinny, loving or hateful.  What will it be?

(orignailly published 02-08)

I’ve been rather quiet on here lately, mainly due to the abundance of stuff on my plate.  As some of you know, Dave is out of a job – but he hasn’t been sitting around idle!  Oh no!  He’s quite the task master.  Over the past couple years, I’ve been creating Teaching Supplements with which to teach our son, Ian.  My Davie has recently taken my crude, hand cut versions and formatted them in Illustrator and also created a real web site (not just my blog site) with a store and all!

I don’t know if any of you remember Dr J Vernon Magee or his radio announcer, Bob Smith.  It was 15 years ago this month that my dear daddy, Bob Smith lost his battle with cancer and joined our Lord and Savior.  I remember going to the studio with daddy and watching him making take after take, getting it all just right!  Daddy made it look real easy.  I’m here to tell you that it is NOT easy!   For a 43 min story, I recorded over 2 hours of different takes!!!  Ah, but I’m getting ahead of myself! 

While I learned a lot from listening and watching my daddy through his radio announcing and film making (he worked during the week for Moody Institute of Science filming such greats as ‘City of the Bees’ and all the other greats that still stand in the test of time).  I also remember sitting in my mom’s office, listening over and over to these little cassette tapes – each one a different accent.  My mom was the Drama Director (and Bible and Biology teacher) for Whittier Christian High School for almost 25 years.  She moved on to Maranatha High School where she continued Directing Drama (and teaching Biology) and influencing many, many students for our Lord.

Early February, my mom came down with Bacterial Meningitis and since has been battling for her life (down here on earth).  When someone you love is knocking on death’s door, you often question things that you should have done, but just never got around to doing.  My mom has always wanted me to record for her.  That was the one thing that kept haunting me.  At the same time, Dave started bugging me about recording some of these stories that I was telling the kids for our Lit time for school.  I know my mom wants to hear my singing voice, and I’ll do that as it presents itself.  Music has always and will always be my first love, but for now, stories are what we are able to record right now.

So, without further ado, McCormick Family Ministries presents Audio E-Books as well as E-Teaching Fans and E-Word Wheels.  (first published 03-08)

“Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”

Dragons, we all have them in our lives.  You know those people who just irritate us to do and say really stupid things – things that we will have to answer to God for later in heaven!

Our Lord has some very firm words regarding them in Proverbs 26:4:

‘Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
Lest you also be like him.’

Wow!  One Dragon in my life is very real and, unfortunately involved in my life to the point where I can’t just not speak to her, but I can choose my actions and words.  And as hard as it is to NOT lower myself to her level and say horridly mean things back, I really must not.  I must try – as best as I can – to stand clear.  Now here’s the hardest part: this person is not bothered in the least by all the mean things she says and does to me, but I, on the other hand, am beside myself after dealing with her.
I need to remember to follow His word and not the gut feeling inside of me.  So I guess this post is to me … from God!

But Thou, O Lord, art a shield about me,
My glory, and the One who lifts my head.
I was crying to the Lord with my voice,
And He answered me from His holy mountain.
I lay down and slept;
I awoke, for the Lord sustains me.
I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people
Who have set themselves against me round about.
Psalm 3:3-6

This is my wonderful kitty Daisy!  She sits on my lap almost everytime I sit down to work on the computer.

Ok, so I’m really just trying to figure out how to insert pics into my posts.  Nothing ever worked before, but all of a sudden, it looks like it might work this time.  I’ve never gotten this far, so let’s keep our fingers crossed!  <g>

And isn’t Daisy just the cutest kitty ever? 

I didn’t write this, but it is just too good not to share with you.

Welcome To Holland
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.  It’s like this…
When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning for a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy.  You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans.  The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice.  You may learn some handy phrase in Italian.  It’s all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives.  You back your bags and off you go.  Several hours later, the plane lands.  The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”  “Holland?!” you say.  “What do you mean, Holland?  I signed up for Italy!  All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plan.  They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.  The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine, and disease.  It’s just a different place.  So, you must go out and buy new guidebooks, you must learn a whole new language, and you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It’s just a different place.  It’s slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy, but after you’ve been there for awhile and you catch your breath, you look around and begin to notice that Holland has windmills; Holland has tulips; Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there.  And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go.  That’s where I was supposed to go.  That’s what I had planned.”
The pain of that will never, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.  But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, very lovely things about Holland.
~Anonymous

Today we did something my dear hubby thought up … Ian and Dave went fishing for lizards!  It was the craziest thing.  Ian got out his fishing pole and Dave tied a mealy worm to the string.  Then they dangled the string/pole in a hole that the lizard had just gone down.  The alligator lizard actually took the bait three times, but the boys weren’t able to “reel him in” <G> 

Have you ever seen that commercial where the dad and son go to an amusement park?  Then they go on a ride and all of a sudden there are two boys, grinning ear to ear – having a blast together.  When they walk past the mirror, the reflection is the father and son.  That’s how it was at our house this afternoon.  I don’t know which one enjoyed his time more, Ian or Dave! 

(from 04-30-08)

Oh what a week!  Do you ever notice that when you really, really give it all over to the Lord, that your world comes crashing down around you?  My Davie is working SO hard at being a man of God first, then a great husband, dad and working on a ministry. Ian has changed over the past three weeks.  Ian is much more calm and SO much more willing to work with me on his schooling.  Tori is having some challenges, but hey, you can’t have it all, now can you?  <G>

Our small car has been having issues over heating.  It finally got to the point where Dave took the Water Pump off and checked it all out.  He thought he had it all fixed up.  Thought.  Skip to Thursday … we go out to take Tori to the Dentist (she has yet another problem with her tooth) and the small car has a flat back tire!  Mad switch to take the old suburban (it’s a ’96).  We don’t like driving the gas guzzler cause gas is $4.40 per gallon out here in CA.  So we get part way down the hill and smell wild fire.  What should we do?  Go back home where Ian is, or keep going down the hill.  (I’m trying so hard to stay calm – my HUGE problem is worry.  I worry about everything.  :(  So, while Dave is working on Dave, I’m trying to work on my worry and cars breaking down and wild fires are two of my BIGGEST FEARS … worries.)  I called Ian and asked him to open the front door.  He does and exclaims, “Mom, I smell fire.  Not trash fire mom, brush fire.”  It takes about 45 min to get off the hill.  The middle 30 min are without cell phone coverage.  I realized that we were getting to the part of our drive where we will loose cell phone.  I go over what to do/ where to go in case of emergency with Ian (getting long “I know mom”, “You already told me this mom” amongst other now forgotten comments!)   We hit the 30 min “dark” time and I try SO hard not to worry.  Really I do.  I pray and look to the sky’s.  We finally break through the “dark” zone and I start calling Fire Stations and California Dept of Forestry (they do most of our fire response cause we live out in an unincorporated part of the county.)  NO ONE can answer a simple question … where is the stupid fire???  So, we decide we need to get home, but alas … the gas guzzler is on empty!  So we must drive the rest of the way into town, fill up and then get back up the hill before our access roads have been closed off to us.  I call the Dentist (still trying to remain calm) and let them know that I’m truly sorry, but there is a wild fire somewhere and I have to get back up the hill to get to my son.  We need to reschedule some other time.  Then I try the fifth (no joke … 5 different phone #’s for different fire stations – anyone I could think of!) I get this nice lady who informs me that, “Oh yes, we have a control burn at Lake Skinner.  We have lots of extra engines there to make sure that it doesn’t get out of control.  You really should be fine.”  I thanked the lady and hung up.  Tears were in my eyes as I said a silent prayer of thanks to our Lord.  I called the Dentist office, told them about the control burn and asked if we could still come in today as we were about 10 min from them.  They said yes and Tori went in and got one baby tooth pulled and a “shard” left over from another baby tooth extracted.  Oh, what a day.

Friday, Dave changes the tire on the small car to the spare and drives down to get new tires for the small car.  The flat was a total blow out.  Praise God it happened while sitting at home and not while driving!  Dave makes it home, but the car overheats and spews water from the water pump.    Dave takes the old water pump out of the small car so that he can get a replacement at the Auto Store.

Saturday, we all pile into the Suburban with our huge cooler to go down to Temecula to pick up our Angle Food.  I’m struggling with not freaking out getting back into a car … did I mention I hate car problems?  Ian and I have a few words and Ian gets stressed .  Dave stays calm (which is a miracle – not because Dave’s bad person/dad, but because when Ian and I get stressed, it used to send him into stress city too.)  I switch places with Ian so that he can sit in the front seat and I take the middle seat.  I get car sick in the car on the way down the hill, but we get to the church where they have the Angel Food.  We go in and get the food and load it into our cooler in the back of the Suburban.  (we had also brought frozen gallon water jugs in there to keep it all cool)  Dave starts the car, but it won’t catch.  It turns over, but it’s not getting fuel or spark.  We don’t know which.  We heard a pop when he tried to start it.  Ugh.  I really can’t believe it.  Here I sit for the who knows how many times trying desperately to hang on to my sanity … and grace.  We called our neighbor and then called Auto Club.  Auto Club towed Dave and the car to the dealership and our neighbor (bless his heart) came down the hill (an hour trip to the church) and picked up me and the kids and our ice chest full of food!  Then we headed over to the dealership to pick up Dave. 
The service people said that it could be a number of things, from a spark arrestor thingie to the Electric Control Modular.  So from a few dollars to just under a thousand (they think) Ugg. 
I know that all things work together for those who love the Lord and seek after Him.  I’m just not sure why such bad things have to keep happening to us when we actively seek after Him. 

Enough whine feast.

(from 05-31-08)

Well, life has been anything but easy lately.  The latest in our life is regarding our daughter, Tori.  I know I haven’t been writing on Yahoo Groups or even personal emails as much as normal.  Truth be told, I’m retreating from everyone. 

For those of you who don’t know, our NT daughter, Tori, had an inch and a half cyst removed from her right jaw and a bone graph done this past March.  Everything went well and we all thought that was the end of it. 

In August, we discovered a bump on the incision site.  We went back in for a biopsy on Sept 4th.  We didn’t get the same surgeon.  This new Dr came out and told us that the bone graph site was “spongy”.  He told me that he took a biopsy and will send it to the lab to see what is happening. 
When we got to the pharmacy, we discovered the Dr had prescribed an antibiotic that Tori is allergic to.  Finally got a hold of his office and then he prescribed something for a person twice Tori’s weight!  Super long story short: we got to the pharmacy at 12:25pm and left at 4:30pm!!!  UGH!  (we live about an hour up mountain roads from the Pharmacy and the Dr’s front office keep telling me it would only be 15 min, it will only be 30 more min…)

Tori woke up the day after the surgery and the side of her face was still numb.  I called and actually got to talk to the Dr that did the surgery.  He told me what I already knew … there wasn’t anything that he could do.  He told me repeatedly that he did not transect the nerve (cut the nerve) however, the nerve might be traumatized – hence the numbness in her face.  At that point it’s a wait and see game.  Wait and see if my daughter will be able to smile again.  Wait and see if she can drink out of a cup or glass again or if she’ll always have to drink with a straw (the right side of her mouth doesn’t close all the way due to the numbness). 

Finally three days after surgery, she is starting to get an “itchy” feeling in the top of her check.  I think this is a good sign.  Hopefully God will heal her.  I know God CAN heal her, we are praying that He WILL heal her.  Please join me in praying for Tori – that God would heal the nerve and the bone.  And while you’re praying, would you remember Dave, Ian and I too.  Tension is REALLY high at our home right now.  Tori is the baby of the family, and ALL of us are hurting for her.  Each of us wish it was one of us and not her.  She is a wonderful, sweet little girl.  (Ok, so she’s not so little anymore … 11 going on 18!)  Thanks!
(from 09-07-08)

UPDATE:  It’s been seven months.  The pain and numbness is gone, but the Cyst seems to be growing back.

The good news: Computers can be a great useful tool for learning things.
The bad news: Computer can be a great useful tool for learning things.

It’s like taking a walk along a beautiful path.  Everything is wonderful and the flowers are so pretty and the grass along the pathway so tall and pretty swaying in the gentle wind.  Everything is going great – you and your kids are learning all sorts of wonderful stuff.  Those who have been down this path before whisper to be aware – there are snakes in the grass and you need to take precautions so that the snakes will not bite you and your kids.  You tell your kids to stay on the path, but you wander on, blissfully ignoring their warnings – until it’s too late. 

The Rattler strikes out and with deadly accuracy, bites one of your kids.  At first you don’t know – they don’t say anything.  After all, you had told them to stay right on the path and not venture off.  They didn’t mean to venture off … it just sort of … happened.  As the venom spreads through their body, you start to notice differences.  They want to be by themselves, they start sneaking around and they start corresponding and gravitating towards a very rough crowd or worse, they run away to be with the “wonderful person I’ve been chatting with who will NEVER treat me like you do.”  By then, it’s too late.  The venom has spread throughout their body and you are in the fight of their lives for their very soul. 

Take the time right now to take precautions with ALL internet capable computers.

It seems that everyone has an opinion, and that some feel it their God given right to barf their opinion all over you!  What happens when that opinion is steeped in anger and insecurities?  It tends to hurt those of us whom have been barfed on. 

What do you do when you’ve been hurt by those around you?  Well, the first thing that I do is to psychoanalyze them (that would be after I got over being hurt and mad!).  Realize who is saying this.  Is it an acquaintance who doesn’t know or understand the limits of your child?  Is it someone who doesn’t care about the limitations of your child or maybe someone who is more of a child than your child and who you really shouldn’t care what they say anyway! 

If possible, can you limit exposure of your child to this person?  We have very strict guidelines to be followed with people who hurt our child or who say bad things about our child.  We don’t shout them over the mountain tops (like I’d LOVE to sometimes, as in: “You are SO not good enough to be around my son”).  Just once I’d like to pop off with something like that.  But God calls us to a higher standard - one full of love and understanding.  If Jesus could love those who were killing Him, I can swallow my pride and love those who hurt me and my family.  STOP.  That does not mean that I will ever let my child go near that person again – it just means that I have a change of heart regarding this person. 

I believe as a parent that we need to guard our hearts and our children’s hearts against those who would do us harm.  It really doesn’t matter who that person is.  If the person really has your child’s best interest at heart, then they wouldn’t hurt or belittle your child, right?  Right! 

There are those at our new church who do not have the knowledge nor the maturity to handle being around our son.  We know that and we take steps to make sure that our son is not around them … ever!  We still love them in the Lord, they just don’t have the joy of seeing one of God’s Special Children. 

Then there are others.  Whether they are other parents of Special Needs Kids, teachers of Special Needs kids, Special Needs Adults or just other adults who have the wisdom and maturity to not judge, they are there and they love and accept us with open arms. 

We have been blessed with a wonderful man who works with the Jr High at our new church.   As long as he is there, I don’t worry about Ian.  Try to find someone like that.  It will give you a break and give your child a chance to hear another adult that says the same thing you do … “Stop that.”  “That is not appropriate now.”  “We’ll get to that in a minute.” and so on!  If you don’t have someone like that, pray that God would provide someone like that.  Email us and let us pray with you.  God will supply all our needs.